2004-11-16 at 6:09 p.m.
well...where do i begin?? These few days have been hard for me~~but then again, which day isn't?? lolx~~I keep on hearing that perserverence is the key to success...is that really true?? And those who say such things..do they know how hard it is to preserve when you truly feel there is no hope? I was in that state before this year~~but i'm not in that state anymore, but still, its so hard to go on with life~~and just pull through all this,hrmmz how can i put it delicately...CRAP!! lolx. hiazzz, i guess everyone has their problems right?? But everyone deals with them in their own way, and life goes on....u wouldn't believe how long it took me to believe that yes~~there is a brighter future ahead....somewhere in this world~~^^ I have not without hope now, its just that its soo hard~~everyday the routine stuff that i know i muz do...but still i try to avoid for the longest time possible...and u may ask why i do this...well to avoid pain of course. My eczema...gosh...i never thought that my life would be ruled by it~~and yet i hear that I should not let anything or anyone rule my life....conflicting ain't it?? o_O;;
I was watching Oprah yesterdaii~~and sometimes the show ish quite interesting~~lol. Aniwaex Richard Gere & Jennifer Lopez were the guests and they were promoting their lastest movie "shall we dance"~~Oprah was asking Richard Gere & J.Lo about their way to success....how they overcame everything~~and there was one thing that they said, that really made sense...and has been on my mind lately, and that is to keep your eye on the prize, don't give up. I guess when u need reassurance thatx wat u have to keep on saying to yourself~~>_^ The road is long & hard....and omg life is EVEN LONGER than that.....how annoying huh?? But i guess u just have to find your way to cope...and just be able to live & be free~~~^_^
So at the end of the day~~is the feeling of being free worth it?? All that hard work & perserverence through the pain, through the times where u doubted that u even wanted to be alive, was this feeling of freedom, peace and the fact that u are at ease worth all of it?? The answer of course is up to you~~^^ But as for me, I am still highly awaiting the time where i can be free, and just be at ease with my life & all itx little quirks~~XP
i think i've given u all enough to comtemplate about~~lolx. It's only sometimes i get soo philosophical~~so dun mind mi okaex?? Aniwaex....i'm still on my O.C high~~lolz~~yes yes i knoe that i've mentioned THE O.C a couple hundread times, and i just had to put it in italics be4..lol...BUT!! come on, I just lurve SETH & SUMMER!! They are the sweetest i swear~~and after watching season2, the first 2 episodes, I can kinda tell why alot of pplx reckon Mischa Barton's character (Marissa), is gorgeous, but they dun like her~~I frankly dun realli like Marissa either, but i LURVE SUMMER!! lol~~shex just soo sweet & cute~~hahahahax, pplz must fink i'm kinda insane now....but oh wellz, i have O.C-itus...lol...btw the only symptom for this particular disease is if u LOVE THE O.C~~hahahahz~~lol~~XD. okaex i can kinda get the feeling that I'm freaking everyone out....>_<;; so i think i'll just leave it here for now~~^^
btw~~i finalli uploaded more fotox onto my photo gallery page~~therex onli 2 gallerys atm...but they'll be more soonz.So if u can be stuffed...go check it out allritex~~^^
Okaex i betta stop here before i say something else that might freak u out....T_T''
xx allie xx
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