The Fairytale within... Everything behind me seems so insignificant / lost in my confusion...

well i finally got bored enough...and here it is~~my new layout~^^. Its smaller than the one before, and that was basically the main point~but aniwaex, pls sign the gb/ tag the tagboard. Ohhz & also check out the photo gallerY~~~*^^*
2005-01-13 at 4:51 p.m.
The fairytale within~~Everything behind me seems so insignificant....lost in my confusion~~~

When I saw the break of day, I wish that I could just fly away~~

Itz realli funni that sometimes u can just be having such a great day~~and literally having the time of your life....and all your troubles seem to fade away, and then someone saiiz something, and just in that second, you are brought back into the cruel arms of reality~~I've experienced this many times & sometimes i wonder when I will be able to find real happiness, one that doesn't exsist in my dreams, but in actual reality, where I don't have to delude myself that everything is fine, when they're not~~

I've been envying ppl lately, mainly those that seem to have such control over their lives~~when mine was just spinning out of control, and I had no idea how to stop it. Geeezzz...omg....i juz saw some1's online name, i won't name the person but like it says "instead of saying why me for all your troubles, say why me for all your blessings" omggg~~i swear itx gonna make mi puke....i think i'm kinda discriminating against this atm...lol~~mainly cux sometimes all the happiness in the world doesn't make u forget all the bad memories & hard times, there are just somethings that you can't forget....maybe you're not meant to forget....i dunnoz~~

I deluded myself into believing that I'm at a happy state right now~~but am I?? Or is it all just an act?? I have no idea...hard to believe huh~~?? -_-'' I've been considering this question for a while...and eventhough i may not be in pain now~~i'm now like estatic about my life~~I'm not as happy as i thot i would be this yr~~hmmmmz...mabbe itx juz a phase...but i dunnox~~I'm still awaiting the day that I find out where I realli belong, and where I'll be happi~~the future is dark & bleak.....which is fraustrating...but i hope there is some light at the end of this tunnel, and hopefully one that turns sorrow into happiness~~^^
xx allie xx
xoxo

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